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Introduction and Key Verse
Eph. 6:10-18
Introduction:
Several years ago, two families from the state of New York were
studied very carefully. One was the Max Jukes family and the other
was the Jonathan Edwards family, and what this study discovered is
remarkable.
Max Jukes was an unbelieving man
and married a woman of like character who lacked principle. And
among the known descendants, over 1200 were studied. 310 were
vagrants; 440 physically wrecked their lives by a debauched
lifestyle; 130 were sent to prison for an average of 13 years each,
7 of them for murder. There were over 100 who became alcoholics; 60
became habitual thieves; and 190 of the female descendants became
public prostitutes. Of the 20 who learned a trade, 10 of them
learned the trade in state prison.
In about the same era the family
of Jonathan Edwards came on the scene. And Jonathan Edwards, a man
of God, married a woman of like character. And their family began
and they became a part of this study that was made. 300 of them
became either clergymen, missionaries, or theological professors;
over 100 became attorneys, 30 of them judges; 60 of them became
physicians; over 60 became authors of good classics; and 14 became
presidents of universities. There were numerous giants in American
industry that emerged from this family. Three became US
Congressmen, and one became the vice president of the United States.
What can we conclude from this
study? Talk to me here. One conclusion we can draw is this. A
strong family will impact, for either good or bad, generation, after
generation, after generation, after generation of people. This is
why I believe that a culture is merely a reflection of the majority
of families that make up that culture. For example:
?
The reason we have a nation that has embraced a
culture of death and violence (abortion, euthanasia, or
entertainment) is because we have a nation of families comprised of
selfish, autonomous people, focused on the preeminence of individual
rights, even at the expense of the larger group.
?
The reason we have a culture that has accepted
homosexuality as a normal expression of sexuality is because we have
a culture comprised of families that have not practiced the biblical
roles of strong, loving leadership on the part of the man of the
house; and gentle, nurturing respect on the part of the woman of the
house. When there is role confusion in the home, it messes kids up
sexually!
Our culture here in the USA is
merely a reflection of the majority of the families that make up
that culture. This morning, I am going to start a new
series of messages that all focus on strengthening the family.
Here's my motive. I have said before that America is
going to hell in a handbasket. That is an old country phrase that
means that as a nation, we are sailing along, without impediment, to
ruin. All one has to do is open his eyes and look around, and if he
is honest he will see the truth of this statement. Of course, that
statement prompts at least two questions. The first is, "Who's to
blame?" And the second is, "What can we do about it?" In answer to
the first question, I believe there are three culprits, and I'll
give them to you in the order of their role. The first culprit is
Satan. The second culprit is the church. And the final culprit is
the family. All three share in the blame for our country being in
the state it is.
Now, to answer the second
question ("what can we do about it?"), the solution is twofold:
Biblical education followed up by practical application. We need to
know what the Bible has to say about fighting the battle that is
being waged by Satan against the family. We need to know what the
Bible says about having strong families. We need to know what the
Bible has to say about the role of the church in nurturing strong
families. We need to know what the Bible has to say about roles in
the family. And then, all this education has to be followed up by
practical application.
So my objective in
this series is to protect the families of Cornerstone / Greenville
Center from the sustained and insidious assault being waged against
them by Satan. From the very beginning of creation, Satan
recognized the potential for good that is in a strong family, so he
immediately set out to destroy it. How? Satan has destroyed
families for thousands of years by 1) physical death, 2) family
dissolution (not disillusion), and 3) personal deviance. How these
three activities look, or how they have been expressed culturally
may have changed form over the years, but it always comes back to
death, dissolution, and deviance (and we will explore each of these
in future messages). So my objective is to alert us to these
threats, and then give biblical instruction about how we can create
strong families. And remember, the benefit of a strong family is
that it has such far reaching effects, as we saw in the illustration
of the Jukes and Edwards families. When we have strong families, we
will have strong churches. And when we have strong churches, we
will have strong communities. And when we have strong communities,
we will have a strong culture. They are all interrelated, and they
all start with the family!
1 This week (isn't it curious how
God works?) I got an e-mail that was addressing this very matter,
and in particular these two guys were discussing the role of a
church youth group in addressing this issue. The one guys says, "I
do not condemn a church’s choice to minister to youth. However, I
do not believe a youth focused church is healthy (justifying it by
such statements as “they are the future of the church, after all”,
all the while seeing their AWANA participants drift away after
middle school age, and/or teens departing after going to college,
never really being a part of the church, much less its future).
I do not believe youth ministry will in any way have an impact in
stemming the tide of our immoral and pagan culture (though it
may help a few individuals). The ONLY way our culture will change
is to have biblical families functioning biblically. This is not
accomplished through youth ministry, especially the “dumbed down”
ones [so prevalent in contemporary Evangelicalism]. I am certainly
in agreement with the church having a role in teaching youth, and
teaching them to be prepared to fulfill their proper roles as adults
in a family. But I would always see that as simply supplemental
to what Scripture directs as a parental responsibility. Stable
churches are made up of stable families. Stable societies
(neighborhoods, towns, cities, states, nations) are made up of
stable families." That is my objective. Let's focus on creating
strong, stable families, and then watch the impact they have on the
church and the culture.
One of the first things I want to
address is that this topic may not apply directly to some of you
here. If you are single and don't plan on ever getting married, or
maybe you have lost a spouse and don't have any children, you may
wonder what this series has for you. I'm glad you are thinking along
those lines because I want to give you two very practical ways this
series is going to be beneficial to you.
Number one: You
interact every day with people who are involved in family settings.
(Cf. Tom at Slater's) The things you are going to hear over the
next few weeks will give you biblical information that you can use
to minister to those who are struggling. In other words, you will
be equipped to help people who desperately need help.
Number two: The
things you will hear over the next few weeks hopefully will motivate
you to become a prayer warrior for all these people sitting around
you who are involved in the daily battle against Satan's forces of
destruction. When you pray, "God, please protect the families of
Cornerstone / Greenville Center Baptist Church;" that is a
legitimate prayer, but what we need is people who will pray
specifically for the men of this church in the role God has
established for them. We need prayer warriors who will lift up each
mother and wife, and the potential mothers and wives, and intercede
on their behalf that God will help them fulfill the role He has
established for them in the family.
As we have done for the past
several series, I want us to commit a passage to memory that will
serve as a biblical basis for what we are trying to accomplish in
this matter of creating strong families. It is found in
Ephesians 6:10-18
10 Finally, be strong in the Lord,
and in the strength of His might. 11 Put on the full
armor of God, that you may be able to stand firm against the schemes
of the devil. 12 For our struggle is not against flesh
and blood, but against the rulers, against the powers, against the
world forces of this darkness, against the spiritual forces
of wickedness in the heavenly places. 13
Therefore, take up the full armor of God, that you may be able to
resist in the evil day, and having done everything, to stand firm.
14 Stand firm therefore, having girded your loins with
truth, and having put on the breastplate of righteousness, 15and
having shod your feet with the preparation of the gospel of peace;
16 in addition to all, taking up the shield of faith with
which you will be able to extinguish all the flaming missiles of the
evil one. 17 And take the helmet of salvation,
and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. 18
With all prayer and petition pray at all times in the Spirit,
and with this in view, be on the alert with all
perseverance and petition for all the saints.
There are
three truths in this passage that have tremendous bearing on whether
or not we are going to raise strong families. Do you wan to know
how to have a strong family? You can have a strong family if you
implement God's truth, if you recognize the nature of the endeavor,
and if you rely on the power of intercessory prayer.
1. We have to do this God's
way - vv. 10 - 11 be strong in the Lord, and in the strength
of His might . Put on the full armor of God. Our
strength is going to have to come from God. His might is going to
have to be channeled through us. It is God's armor (v. 11) that we
put on, not our own. This is going to be all about doing it God's
way. We are not going to be spending very much time looking at what
Dr. Dobson has to say about raising strong families. Not because he
is wrong, but because he isn't God. Now, to the extent that what he
has to say is true to the Bible, he can be trusted; but my emphasis
is going to be what God has to say about this. This sounds very
similar to Ps. 127:1 - "Unless the LORD builds the house,
they labor in vain who build it. Raising strong families is
impossible if we don't do it God's way.
If we are going to do this God's
way, we are going to have to use the weapons of war Paul lays out
for us in this passage. And it is no coincidence that the first
piece of armor Paul tells us to put on is that of truth (v. 14).
Where are we going to find the truth? In the Bible. That is why
John 17:17 says, "Sanctify them in the truth;
Thy word is truth." Paul also says that we are going to have to
put on righteousness (v. 14). Righteousness is when we are
in a right standing with God. In other words, we are in fellowship
with God - there isn't sin in our lives that clouds our
communication with Him. One of the reasons families break down is
because as parents, we aren't in fellowship with God. One of the
first lessons I learned about parenting is that when my personal
relationship wasn't right with God, my parenting skills plummeted.
It is important to put on righteousness.
We have to practice the gospel
of peace, according to verse 15. The passage I almost chose as
our key verse for the series was Philippians 2:3-4. "Do
nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind
let each of you regard one another as more important than himself;
4 do not merely look out for your own personal interests,
but also for the interests of others." That kind of outlook
will bring peace to any struggling family. Can you imagine how
pleasant family life would be if these two verses were practiced
without interruption by every member of the family? It would be
astounding. We have to be people of faith (v. 16) who have been
genuinely saved (v. 17). We have to use the Word of God as we are
working in our families (v. 17). So the point is, we have to do
this God's way. We have to use God's weapons if we are going to
raise strong families.
Now that brings up a curious
image. Why am I invoking battle imagery as I am talking about
having strong families? Because the second truth Paul brings out in
this passage that will enable us to raise strong families is that we
have to understand the nature of what we are doing. Look with me at
verse 12.
2. We have to understand the
nature of what we are doing - v. 12 "our struggle is not
against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the powers,
against the world forces of this darkness, against the spiritual
forces of wickedness in the heavenly places." Raising strong
families is not simply a matter of diligence and discipline; though
diligence and discipline is very important. Neither is raising
strong families simply a matter of finding the right model of child
rearing and then implementing it; though there is a biblical model.
When we make the commitment to raise strong families we have to
understand that we are directly engaging the forces of darkness. It
is as simple as that. Raising strong families is a spiritual
battle. And our adversaries have as their objective the destruction
of the family. The casualties in this battle are high, and anyone
who is a parent will agree with me that it is an exhausting battle,
that doesn't end when your children leave the home. I wish you
could have heard the agony in an 85 year old mother's voice as she
told me of her 65 year old son's attempted suicide. You never quit
being a parent. And something we will talk about later is the role
of grandparents in the family. But we need to understand that we
are engaged in a spiritual battle.
This point has really been
helpful to me as I have struggled with child rearing because when I
am in conflict with one of my children because of some training
issue, it is helpful to remember that my "struggle is not against
flesh and blood." That child is not the adversary. He isn't
the enemy. This is not a personal conflict. And this perspective
helps me not take the bad behavior as a personal affront. It is no
longer a "me versus him," scenario, it is a spiritual battle that is
being waged for his soul.
And when we understand this, it
makes the truth of verse 18 stand out in bold relief. The third
truth I want to point out to you in raising strong families is that
we have to trust in the power of intercessory prayer.
3. We have to trust the power
of intercessory prayer - v. 18 - "pray at all times in the
Spirit." How many of you have ever been hit with a truth that
seems so profound you are amazed that you didn't see it sooner?
This happened to me about five or six years ago concerning this
matter of intercessory prayer and family health. The way this came
to me was that I realized there were a lot of things in the physical
realm I could do to raise godly children and have a strong family.
I could work diligently at loving my wife like Christ loved the
church. I could make family Bible time a vital ingredient in family
life. I could make sure our family was involved in strong, Bible
teaching churches where they were going to be taught the truths of
Scripture. I could educate the children in the home and nurture
them in a greenhouse type environment so that they would be strong
and healthy when released into society. I could exercise great
oversight in what kind of influences I allowed in the home from the
perspective of entertainment. I could be very careful in what kind
of friendships I allowed them to develop. I could be diligent in
disciplining. In other words, there were all kinds of external
things I could do to develop a strong family and have children who
would embrace the faith of their parents and carry it on to the next
generation.
But the one thing I could not do
is the one thing that most needs to be done. And that is that I
cannot change their hearts. Only God can change a heart. And it
dawned on me one day that in spite of my best efforts, and in spite
of all my good intentions; if God didn't touch the heart of my
child, all my efforts were going to be in vain. And when that
realization hit me, I became an intercessor on the behalf of my
family. That is the message of verse 18 - "pray at all times in
the spirit."
I want to close with a quick
testimony to the power of intercessory prayer. Most people who look
at me right now see a pretty stable guy. I'm not perfect, but I do
love the Lord. I want to serve the Lord. I want to raise good kids
who love the Lord and want to serve Him. I pay my taxes and help
little old ladies cross the street - that is what most people see
today when they look at me. But if you could have seen me 29 years
ago, you would have seen someone completely different. You would
have seen a substance abusing, bitter, self-destructive HS Junior
who had been committed to a mental institution. You would have seen
a teenager that was so maladjusted that his mother had a nervous
breakdown and was physically incapacitated for a period of time.
But you also would have seen a teenager who had a mother who
interceded for his soul. One of the recollections I have of that
very dark period of my life is my mother fasting and praying every
Saturday for about two years. And when God finally touched my heart
as a Sophomore in college, I believe it was because of my mother's
prayers for me. That is the power of intercessory prayer. I
believe that I am where I am today because of her prayers
So let me leave you with this
challenge this morning - as we seek to create strong families here
at Cornerstone, remember that we have to do this God's way, we have
to understand the nature of the battle, and we have to rely on the
power of intercessory prayer. Let me challenge you this morning to
be an intercessory prayer warrior. |
