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Introduction: This
morning we will be continuing our study of Colossians 3:12-17 as we
study the Believer’s Profile. A profile is a set of characteristics
that identify you. If you were in Albany some day and saw an
unkempt man pushing a grocery cart full of aluminum cans and digging
around in the garbage cans on each street corner, you would not
think to yourself, "There goes the mayor of Albany." You would not
think that he was one of our state legislators. You would think
that he was a homeless person. That is profiling. Drawing
conclusions about a person based on observable characteristics.
And as I have said in the past,
profiling isn't always accurate. But it is legitimate, especially
for believers. Believers should have a profile. We should have
certain observable characteristics in our lives that would compel
the people in our neighborhoods and communities and places of work
to draw the conclusion that we are not like the rest of the world.
We are different.
Review: Paul has
told us so far in this passage that we are to be marked by:
1. compassion -
your pain in my heart
2. kindness - the opposite of severity
3. humility - a proper view of self
4. gentleness - consideration
5. patience -emotional
quietness in the face of unfavorable circumstances
6. bearing with one another -
tolerance
Transition: Today we are going to look at the matter of
forgiveness. Read along with me from verse 12 through 14.
And so, as those who have been
chosen of God, holy and beloved, put on a heart of compassion,
kindness, humility, gentleness and patience; 13 bearing
with one another, and forgiving each other, whoever has a
complaint against anyone; just as the Lord forgave you, so also
should you. 14 And beyond all these things put on
love, which is the perfect bond of unity.
I. The Standard For Forgiveness
The first thing I want us to
notice in this verse is the last phrase of verse 13, "just as the
Lord forgave you, so also should you." This is the standard we
should aspire to in our forgiveness. It is the goal we are trying
to achieve. We need to be just as forgiving to others as God is to
us.
Now as humans, we typically have
very low standards of forgiveness. What I mean by that is that
instead of forgiving others just like God forgives peoples (a very
high standard - difficult to achieve), we forgive others with
qualifications, which results in lowering the standard, therefore
making the standard more achievable. And then we pat ourselves on
the back for being such a forgiving person.
Let me give you three typically
low standards of forgiveness, and then show you how they don't meet
the standard of forgiving others "just as the Lord forgave you."
A. "I'll forgive you
several times." Turn with me to Matthew 18:21-22. Earlier
in this passage, Jesus had been giving the disciples instructions on
how to deal with people who were involved in sin, and the point
Jesus makes is that if the sinning person acknowledges his sin, he
is to be forgiven and restored to fellowship. But Peter is thinking
ahead of possible scenarios, and says in verse 21, "Then Peter
came and said to Him, "Lord, how often shall my brother sin against
me and I forgive him? Up to seven times?" Who can share with us
the significance of that number, seven? Forgiving someone three
times was the rule of thumb for good Jews of that day. So Peter,
being the generous man he is, doubles the accepted norm, then adds
one to it just for good measure, and asks Jesus if that is
acceptable. That is the significance of forgiving someone seven
times. It is double the norm plus one. But what does Jesus say in
verse 22? "Jesus said to him, "I do not say to you, up to seven
times, but up to seventy times seven."
Jesus' point here is not
that we only have to forgive someone 490 times. And then on the
491st offense we can refuse forgiveness. He was saying we should
forgive people innumerable times. That's a pretty high standard,
isn't it? The low standard is, "I'll forgive you several times,"
but we need to forgive others "just as the Lord forgave us."
B. "I'll forgive you if you
ask me to." Turn with me now to Luke 7:36-39. "Now
one of the Pharisees was requesting Him to dine with him. And He
entered the Pharisee's house, and reclined at the table. 37
And behold, there was a woman in the city who was a sinner; and when
she learned that He was reclining at the table in the Pharisee's
house, she brought an alabaster vial of perfume, 38 and
standing behind Him at His feet, weeping, she began to wet His feet
with her tears, and kept wiping them with the hair of her head, and
kissing His feet, and anointing them with the perfume. 39
Now when the Pharisee who had invited Him saw this, he said to
himself, "If this man were a prophet He would know who and what sort
of person this woman is who is touching Him, that she is a sinner."
The thing to note about this passage is that the woman involved
is not your typical good person who fails from time to time and
needs forgiveness. She has a reputation in the city (v. 39, "He
would know who and what sort of person . . ."), and it
isn't a good one.
Let's carry on with verse 40.
"And Jesus answered and said to him, "Simon, I have something to say
to you." And he replied, "Say it, Teacher." 41 "A
certain moneylender had two debtors: one owed five hundred denarii,
and the other fifty. 42 "When they were unable to repay,
he graciously forgave them both. Which of them therefore will love
him more?" 43 Simon answered and said, "I suppose the
one whom he forgave more." And He said to him, "You have judged
correctly." 44 And turning toward the woman, He said to
Simon, "Do you see this woman? I entered your house; you gave Me no
water for My feet, but she has wet My feet with her tears, and wiped
them with her hair. 45 "You gave Me no kiss; but she,
since the time I came in, has not ceased to kiss My feet. 46
"You did not anoint My head with oil, but she anointed My feet with
perfume. 47 "For this reason I say to you, her sins,
which are many, have been forgiven, for she loved much; but he who
is forgiven little, loves little." 48 And He said to
her, "Your sins have been forgiven." I have always been
fascinated with this passage because it doesn't look like this woman
spoke a single word to Jesus. She doesn't come to Jesus and say, "I
have sinned against you, would you please forgive me of my sins?"
Now her actions obviously indicated a repentant heart, but my point
is that she received forgiveness without asking for it. That is the
standard Jesus sets, and it is a very high standard because we don't
like to grant forgiveness unless the person who has sinned against
us asks for it. We like to see the other person have to humble
himself before us and ask us to do something for him that he can't
do for himself. That is the low standard. That is the easily
achieved standard.
Transition: The
final low standard of forgiveness is actually an outgrowth or
intensification of the previous one, and is seen in the attitude,
"I'll forgive you if you acknowledge your wrongdoing."
C. "I'll forgive you if you
acknowledge your wrongdoing." Turn with me to Luke
23:33-34. "And when they came to the place called The Skull,
there they crucified Him and the criminals, one on the right and the
other on the left. But Jesus was saying, "Father, forgive them, for
they do not know what they are doing."
The people responsible for putting
Jesus to death were not a group of repentant sinners who had seen
the error of their way and were now seeking forgiveness. They were
belligerent and arrogant men who thought they had the moral high
ground, and they believed they were giving aid to God's work on
earth by putting to death this imposter who claimed to be the
Messiah. And it is hard to forgive someone who is belligerent and
arrogant, especially when he thinks God is on his side. But there
are times when we have to do this, and God gives us the grace
necessary to do it, as he did to Stephen, the first
martyr.
So the low standard we often
aspire to in this matter of forgiveness is seen in the attitude,
"I'll forgive you if you acknowledge your wrongdoint." And I'm
calling this a low standard of forgiveness because we enjoy the
gratification that accompanies an admission of wrongdoing on the
part of someone else. We like the vindication of our stance when
someone apologizes to us. But that isn't what we see in this
passage. Here we see Jesus granting unconditional, undeserved,
un-asked-for, categorical forgiveness.
Summary: So
if we are going to "forgive others just as Christ has forgiven us,"
we are going to have to forgive many times, we are going to have to
forgive when people don't ask for it, and there may be times when we
have to forgive even if the person doesn't acknowledge his
wrongdoing. The believer always has the option of granting
unconditional, categorical forgiveness.
Transition: Now why
am I making such a big deal about the importance of forgiveness? It
is because if you don't learn how to forgive, you will suffer for
the rest of your life. Let me repeat that. If you don't learn how
to forgive, you will suffer for the rest of your life. Let me show
you where the Bible shows us the price of unforgiveness.
II. The Price of Unforgiveness
At the end of Matthew 18, Jesus
tells this story. Starting in verse 23 we read, "For this reason
the kingdom of heaven may be compared to a certain king who wished
to settle accounts with his slaves. 24 "And when he had
begun to settle them, there was brought to him one who owed him ten
thousand talents (about $10 million). 25 "But
since he did not have the means to repay, his lord commanded him to
be sold, along with his wife and children and all that he had, and
repayment to be made. 26 "The slave therefore falling
down, prostrated himself before him, saying, 'Have patience with me,
and I will repay you everything.' 27 "And the lord of
that slave felt compassion and released him and forgave him the
debt. 28 "But that slave went out and found one of his
fellow slaves who owed him a hundred denarii (100 day's wages);
and he seized him and began to choke him, saying, 'Pay back what you
owe.' 29 "So his fellow slave fell down and began to
entreat him, saying, 'Have patience with me and I will repay you.'
30 "He was unwilling however, but went and threw him in
prison until he should pay back what was owed. 31 "So
when his fellow slaves saw what had happened, they were deeply
grieved and came and reported to their lord all that had happened.
32 "Then summoning him, his lord said to him, 'You wicked
slave, I forgave you all that debt because you entreated me.
33 'Should you not also have had mercy on your fellow slave,
even as I had mercy on you?' 34 "And his lord, moved
with anger, handed him over to the torturers until he should repay
all that was owed him. 35 "So shall My heavenly Father
also do to you, if each of you does not forgive his brother from
your heart."
Did you catch the word "torturers"
("tormenters" KJV) in verse 34? The Greek word there was used to
refer to the person who would extract information from a prisoner by
torturing him. Not a pleasant word. And did you catch what Jesus
said in verse 35. "So shall my heavenly Father also do to you, if
each of you does not forgive his brother from your heart?" This is
strong stuff! The point Jesus is making is that when we harbor
unforgiveness, we will suffer for that lack of
forgiveness, not the person we are refusing to forgive. As I have
often told people in counseling who are struggling with forgiving
someone who has hurt them terribly, "The only person you are hurting
is yourself." The principle of God's Word is that when we refuse to
forgive others, we will physically pay the price of that unforgiving
spirit.
I once counseled a man for several
years who had been horrifically abused by an alcoholic father. His
sister finally committed suicide as a teenager just to escape the
abuse. And this man had suffered anguish for years because of his
inability to forgive his father. His bitterness and anger and
resentment was literally and physically torturing him. You could
see it in the lines on his face. You could see it in the tension in
his muscles as we talked about it, and you could hear it in his
voice as we talked and prayed for God to help him forgive. We pay a
price in the physical realm when we refuse to forgive others, "just
as Christ as forgiven us." That is the price of unforgiveness.
Transition: The
final point I'd like to make about forgiveness this morning concerns
the proof of forgiveness. Let's say that you want this particular
dimension of the Believer's profile to be true in your life. You
want to be a forgiving person, and you want to meet the standard God
sets, forgiving others just as Christ has forgiven you. How do you
know if you've reached the standard. Let me quickly share with you
four proofs of forgiveness.
III. The Proof of Forgiveness
A. I will not meditate on
the incident - Philippians 4:8 "Finally, brethren, whatever
is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure,
whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any
excellence and if anything worthy of praise, let your mind dwell on
these things."
B. I will not talk to
others about the incident - 1 Corinthians 13:5 "[Love] does
not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked,
does not take into account a wrong suffered,"
C. I will not use this
incident against the person - Matthew 6:12 "And forgive us
our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors."
D. I will not allow this
incident to hinder our personal relationship - Ephesians
4:32 "And be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each
other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you."
Conclusion: How are
you doing in this matter of forgiveness? Is it a part of your
profile? Can people look at you and your ability to forgive, and
draw the conclusion that you are a believer? As we have been
looking at these verses this morning, maybe God has brought someone
to your mind that you need to forgive. Maybe it is the bully in HS
who made your life miserable when you were in tenth grade. Maybe it
is a former spouse who took advantage of you and left you high and
dry and emotionally drained. Maybe it is a child who broke your
heart, or an in-law who has damaged your reputation in the family
and town where you live. The possibilities really are numberless -
but we need to forgive. May God give us the grace to "bear with one
another, and forgive each other, just as the Lord has forgiven us." |
